From Olga, coauthor of the online course:
Many men struggle to understand why foreplay and warming up are so important. They often view it as a chore or a delay rather than a vital part of the experience. However, the prelude is not just a tool for physical arousal; it is the foundation for how energy moves through the couple. Depending on your goals, the role of foreplay changes. To truly appreciate its value, we need to look at the different levels of intimacy and what makes sex “good” at each stage.
The First Level: Reaching the Peak
At the first level of intimacy, the goal is often focused on the female orgasm as the end point. For many women, reaching this peak requires time and specific stimulation. Without proper education and self-experimentation, it is difficult to know how the body responds. At this level, foreplay serves as a functional tool. It helps the body prepare physically so that the experience can be considered successful and satisfying for both partners.
The Second Level: Orgasm as a Beginning
The second level of sex shifts the perspective entirely. Here, the orgasm is not the finish line but the very beginning of the process. If we view sexual energy as the energy of life, then the orgasm is simply the activation of that power. At this level, the task is to manage and direct this energy into different areas of life. Even if a woman is sensitive enough to reach a peak quickly, the prelude remains essential for a much deeper purpose.
Avoiding the State of Emptiness
When an orgasm happens too quickly without preparation, it often stays localized in the pelvic area. While there is physical satisfaction, the emotional result can be negative. A woman might feel a sense of irritation, emptiness, or a sudden loss of strength. This happens because the energy was triggered but not integrated. A proper prelude ensures that the experience feels nourishing rather than draining, preventing the unpleasant crash that follows rushed intimacy.
Filling the Heart with Impressions
At the second level, the criteria for success are based on how a woman feels in her heart and her whole body. Good sex should leave her feeling filled with impressions and pleasure at every level of her being. This fullness is what allows the benefits of intimacy to spill over into daily life. When the heart is involved through a slow warm-up, the emotional connection becomes the most important part of the journey.
Transformation of Daily Life
When intimacy is approached with a long prelude, the results are visible in a woman’s external world. She may find that she earns money more easily or launches new projects with more confidence. Her creativity, lightness, and self-esteem increase significantly. She feels like a goddess because her energy is flowing freely. This transformation is only possible when the nervous system has had enough time to open up during the initial stages of the encounter.
Healing and Meditative States
A slow and intentional prelude can also trigger a healing process. Emotional stress blocks can surface as tears, allowing past situations to be processed and released. In some cases, a meditative state arises where the couple feels as one with the Universe. This deep sense of soul connection requires a level of presence that cannot be reached in a hurry. The prelude sets the stage for these profound spiritual and emotional breakthroughs.
Setting the Right Duration
The natural rhythm of the female body requires time to switch from daily stress to intimate receptivity. For most women, the ideal duration for foreplay is between 20 and 40 minutes. Slowly excitable individuals may need even more time to feel fully present. Understanding this “how” is the key to a successful prelude. It is not about waiting; it is about active engagement with the body’s changing signals and sensations.
Tantric Massage as the Ideal Warm-up
One of the most effective ways to conduct a prelude is through tantric massage. This practice includes the whole body and focuses on relieving held tension. During yoni massage, this warming up allows the sexual energy to move beyond the genitals and fill every cell. By activation of the energy centers before the main interaction, the couple ensures that the energy will be used for healing and vitality rather than being wasted.
Customizing the Experience
In a structured learning environment, a high-quality tantric massage can last for an hour. However, this can be adapted to suit your needs and time. If you only have 20 minutes, you can focus on specific areas like the head, feet, or buttocks. A woman who is familiar with her own body can guide her partner to the areas that feel most tense that day. This flexibility makes the prelude a collaborative and educational process.
Conclusion
Ultimately, the choice of foreplay determines which type of energy is activated. Sex without a prelude often focuses on a more driven, male-style energy. Including a generous prelude allows for the activation of female energy which is receptive and expansive. Whether used as a tool for physical pleasure or as a path to spiritual connection, the prelude remains a necessity for a woman’s sexual nature. It provides luxurious internal states that enrich the lives of both partners.
