After every session, I emphasize one crucial piece of advice: if something comes up, don’t keep it to yourself. Talk about it with someone. This is not just a polite suggestion; it is a vital part of the somatic integration process. Yoni massage often acts as a key that unlocks rooms in the subconscious that have been sealed for years. When these rooms open, the contents need a place to go.
The Concept of Emotional Containment
Psychologists use a trendy word: “containment.” It refers to the capacity to hold and process one’s own emotions without being overwhelmed or “hurt” by them. Ideally, containment means accepting all your feelings and living through them at a pace that is comfortable for you. In a somatic context, it is the ability of the nervous system to remain present while intense energy or memories surface, rather than immediately switching into a defensive or dissociative state.
Childhood Roots of Emotional Expression
Normally, the skill of containment develops in early childhood through the presence of a caregiver. When a balloon bursts and a child runs to their mother to pour out their deepest grief, the mother’s calm presence acts as an external container. She pats the child on the head, validating the emotion without being swept up by it. The child learns that their grief is survivable and temporary, and they soon run off with a smile, their internal system restored to balance.
The Burden of Forbidden Emotions
Problems arise when expressing emotions is forbidden. Phrases like “Boys don’t cry,” “Girls don’t behave like that,” or “Children should be seen and not heard” act as commands to suppress. As a result, a huge number of unlived and unexpressed experiences accumulate in the tissues. All fears, hatred, anger, and resentment are stored away. Modern society often labels these as “abnormal,” forcing us to save them until the pressure boils over and blows the lid off.
Yoni Massage as a Catalyst for Release
This “boiling over” happens especially easily during yoni massage. The practice awakens dormant vitality which, as it moves through the body, captures everything that prevents its flow. It acts as a solvent for the emotional “glue” that keeps old tensions in place. This is why a session can suddenly shift from physical touch to a deep emotional clearing, as the body finally finds the precise and honest language of sensation to express what the mind has long forgotten.
Tears, Catharsis, and the Heart Space
If the release manifests as tears, snot, or a full catharsis during the session, it is a success. My role is to create a “heart space”—a non-judgmental, energetic field in which you can express everything you are ready to let go. When this powerful layer of emotions comes out in the presence of an witness, it loses its power to haunt the individual. It is a literal shedding of weight that the nervous system has been carrying for decades.
The Delayed Response: When the Body is Not Ready
Sometimes, the release doesn’t happen on the table. You might feel a lump in your throat or see tears behind your eyes that you simply cannot let out in the moment. This is perfectly normal; it means your system is still protecting itself. In these cases, the emotions will likely surface in a few days. This is precisely where the recommendation is needed: do not keep it inside. The long-term processing of somatic shifts continues long after the physical touch has ended.
Choosing Your Container
When emotions arise post-session, you must choose who will serve as your container. It could be a trusted friend, a psychologist, or the practitioner. The key is to find someone who can accept your feelings without trying to “fix” you. This person serves as a mirror, allowing you to see and hear your own experiences clearly. By vocalizing what you feel, you move the experience from the “locked” somatic realm into the “integrated” cognitive realm.
The Task of the Listening Witness
The person serving as a container has a specific set of tasks. They must listen silently and nod—a practice often called “listening with the heart” in Tantra or “non-judgmental perception” in psychology. Their primary goal is to create a space for you to unload without interference. They should accept the speaker entirely, along with every raw emotion presented, without trying to classify these feelings as acceptable or unacceptable, good or bad.
Avoiding the Trap of Advice
A true container does not try to actively empathize to the point of merging, nor do they try to solve the problems being expressed. Most importantly, they must not give any advice unless explicitly asked to do so. Unsolicited advice often acts as a “stop” to the emotional flow, signaling that the emotion is a problem to be solved rather than an experience to be lived. This silence allows for the gradual assimilation of deep somatic changes without external distortion.
Integration through Expression
Ultimately, the goal of not keeping it in is integration. When we speak our truth, the energy that was used to suppress the emotion is returned to us as vital force. The body feels lighter, the mind clearer. By following this simple recommendation, you ensure that the insights gained during yoni massage are not just fleeting moments of intensity, but become the foundation for a more authentic and emotionally honest way of living.
