During each session, the woman goes through four stages, described in previous posts (Grof’s basic perinatal matrices):
- initial relaxation;
- contraction, pressure, tension;
- movement, emotions, struggle;
- release and relief.
Some effects are more pronounced, some less so.
There are strong women (iron ladies) who forbid themselves from expressing emotions outside of massage. This same attitude manifests itself in a heightened form during massage.
The third stage: it’s clear that the body is ready to move, tears are ready to flow… but no…
The girl forcibly restrains herself from the previous stage. She tells herself, “Forbidden. Unacceptable. I can’t.” She clenches her body, stops breathing, and courageously holds back all emotions.
Neither reminders to breathe—they last only 10-20 seconds—nor permission to experience everything that comes up, nor my request to yawn to loosen her tightly clenched jaw, nor my request to make the sound “A” to at least express something, help.
(There’s a subtle difference between this reaction and the body’s “freeze” reaction. With the “freeze” reaction, the girl doesn’t breathe for a moment after the reminder.)
In terms of temperature: her stomach is hot, her chest is cold, her throat is hot.
In this case, the emotions will also come out—perinatal matrices have not been canceled. But they will come out later—in a day or two. The same tears, snot, catharsis.
The girl may again carefully suppress them—to preserve, love, cherish, and nurture. It’s scary to let go of such an important and necessary burden.
Therefore, just in case, after the massage, it’s necessary to give the following recommendations:
“For three days, you may be overwhelmed by memories and experiences. It’s important not to bottle them up. Talk to someone, cry, or write them out. A friend, a psychologist, or me. I’m always available. You can always discuss anything with me.”
Usually, everything calms down within three days.
In severe cases, the suffering can last for a week or two.
The recommendation is the same: the faster you express everything that has accumulated, the faster space will be freed up inside for something useful.
Other details of the massage are described in the online course about yoni massage.
